A God's atonement
by AriesOrion
Summary: Atonement is bitter and lonely; it claws at your heart and breaks your soul. Millennia have passed, worlds have been destroyed and everything has long since turned to dust. Yet Allen keeps walking, even if his path has crumbled beneath his feet an eternity ago. Drabbles, one-shot


Disclaimer: I don't own -Man or Bleach or any of the characters

* * *

Summary:

Atonement is bitter and lonely; it claws at your heart and breaks your soul. Millennia have passed, worlds have been destroyed and everything has long since turned to dust. Yet Allen keeps walking, even if his path has crumbled beneath his feet an eternity ago. Drabbles

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The first time he realized he is not aging is five years after the war, five years after everything turned into dust and his new path began. It is a gradual process; his clothes still fit and his strides don't change and even though he knows that its _wrongwrongwrong _it still feels like time has stopped. It is in that moment that he finally remembers.

xXx

He thinks of the man who could have been his uncle – Neah Walker – and how insanity claimed even him. He has long since stopped existing inside his head, torn apart by Allen's innocence destroying the malicious intruder. It is only when during one lonely and dark night Allen receives the Fourteenths memory that he remembers and realizes why exactly the Earl wanted to be by his side so much, why those eyes gleaming with insanity were always focused on him alone. Because for all he has always equated the Fourteenth to Neah, his uncle was merely one in a long line of many others, and now Allen is another.

xXx

The Fourteenth's is the Noah of Destruction, but he is also the families musician and from the first incarnation on the Earl's closest confidant. Allen remembers and sees the scores of music that he had sung to the Earl – to _Adam_ – in his mind and mourns together with his Noah for what can never be again. It is the first time he allows himself to grieve for the people he has lost; and yet above his friends, it is the Earl he sheds tears for.

(Because for all Allen has loved his friends, it cannot compare to thousands of years of absolute love and the warm feeling of belonging.)

xXx

He knows that years have passed, and yet he doesn't count. He merely keeps walking, watching as the world slowly recovers. Humans begin walking the Earth once more – still entirely primitive but _there _– and this time Allen can't bring himself to be happy.

(He knows he should be, humanities survival is the proof that the Earl has failed; but right now Allen Walker is the Fourteenth Noah, and he feels nothing but deep seated anger and regret. Because even though humans have survived, his family has not and that _hurts_. Its pure agony that claws at his heart, and makes everything else but his pain seem insignificant.)

xXx

The first time he sees an Akuma he wants to scream. He wants to tear it apart and crush it into dust, because how could it have survived when his family did not? Instead his skin turns grey and his eyes into molten gold, his grin is too wide to be human but somehow familiar, and that soothes something inside of him that is so very close to breaking.

''Good evening ~'' His voice is slightly raw, with a melodic tilt to it that more than anything says who he is.

The Akuma looks confused, and Allen feels his cold and silent fury abate as he realizes that this Akuma is too far gone and so broken that he can't even recognize a Noah anymore.

And suddenly he feels pity for those remnants of the old world, those Akuma that have no purpose and no place in this new world.

''I'm the Earl of the Millennium.'' The lie flows off his tongue as easy as breathing, and even though he knows that this won't bring him back, it still feels like somehow he is beside him. ''Should I help you, poor lost soul?''

He stretches out his hand, and the Akuma obeys without hesitation. Allen's skin doesn't turn back, his eyes remain molten gold, and his grin too wide to be human; but it feels as natural as breathing and somehow Allen doesn't think of himself as anything but a Noah anymore.

(He still keeps waking, still wears the earrings Komui had given him once upon a time; and yet everything else has changed.)

xXx

It takes time for his to gather all the Akuma, but it is time spent towards a goal; the first one he has in years, so he doesn't complain.

He sees their broken shells, and among the angry churning inside his veins, something inside of him snaps and breaks free, wholly unbound of any limitations. He raises his hands burns the Earl's marks upon their very souls. And amidst the myriad of agonized screams, he changes them into something entirely different.

(Because Adam is long dead, and only he remains and this way some part of Adam will change with him. He has long since realized that the Akuma mirrored Adam's inner demons, his despair at human cruelty, released into the world to do what he alone could not. And for all Allen possessed one too, the hollowness inside of him is so much more stifling.)

xXx

He calls them Hollows, gives them a purpose in this still young world with its humans and too much depravity already. He builds a new Ark for them, with only deserts and lonely patterns of trees under the dark night sky.

(It mirrors the hollowness in his own heart.)

They are human depravity at its worst, full of greed and hunger and yet they are his in a way that nothing else will ever be again. He leaves them their freedom, and doesn't interfere, because for all of the hate he has towards humanity, he cannot quite bring himself to destroy everything yet again.

(He curses his weakness, all the while pushing and probing the limits of his new powers. He isn't quite as surprised as he should have been when he doesn't notice any.)

xXx

He has met the Soul King only once, and yet it is an encounter that both would never forget. Allen had been composing a new song in his own Ark when he felt something forming in another dimension not unlike his own.

He breaks through its walls easily, the centuries having given him powers beyond his comprehension. Golden eyes meet black ones as everything around them ceased to exist.

''Good evening~'' Allen grins at the new arrival in this world, this being who held equal power to him.

The being cocks his head like a newborn puppy, and something inside Allen softens at the sight. He knows they will be enemy's, will never be on the same side, and yet he also knows that this being will be opposed to him – be _there_ – for eternity.

(Sometimes he wonders if this is what the Earl felt all those years ago in that dark and dreary graveyard, as he looked down upon him. It is a curious feeling, a mixture of excitement and animosity that will somehow never spill into hate.)

They do not speak much except for their names and titles. The Soul King is responsible for creating a balance for the newly formed Hollows, and knows nothing but his own duty given to him by God. Allen is the Millennium Earl, the creator of Hollows; and lives for nothing but atonement towards the family he had killed.

Yet beneath the formal words, they both somehow know that they are more alike than anything else in this world.

(Allen is not wholly black and the Soul King not entirely white; and somehow they create a balance that is a curious shade of grey.)

xXx

Millennium pass and Allen still remains in this world that is changing too fast. Humans advance at a terrifying rate and sometimes when Allen – the Earl – feels reminiscent, he strolls through the rising cities and watches as they are born and die like flies.

(He still carries the title of Earl like a cloak, shielding him from the crushing loneliness boring down on him, as he alone remains unchanged by time. Then he remembers black eyes, and a curious tilt of the head and somehow that makes it better.)

xXx

Allen ignores the creation of the Shinigami. They are not worth his time, and although he is curious, it is less important than the novel from the Ark's library he is currently reading. It is only days later when he first sets sight upon the human soul carrying a shard of power inside of him.

It reminds him of his innocence, with its attachment to his body and very soul, and it is only when years later he first observes the resulting Zanpakutou that he is entirely sure that those weapons are based on his own.

(It should have made him angry, but instead it leaves him strangely melancholic for years as he remembers the times when he was still Allen and not the Earl and that inhuman grin could still be found in this world.)

xXx

Sometimes he walks across the desert of what is now known as Hueco Mundo and watches as his creations live and strive and perish in this harsh dimension. He feels like a parent when he slowly teaches them how to open gates to other places, how to evolve and survive in this reality that is so unforgiving towards all.

(He thinks of Adam and Akuma and he knows it's not healthy, but he still wishes and dreams for a time when everything ends and he can beg for forgiveness.)

xXx

He largely ignores the formation of the Gotei Thirteen. It is not his place to interfere, and he has long since decided to not get involved.

(He still visits his creations though, because for all their faults he can and will not abandon them wholly.)

He watches with pride as they evolve into Vasto Lorde, becoming stronger and more human like with every passing moment.

(It is during times like these that the hollow feeling inside his chest eases and he doesn't miss the figures with ashen skin and gold eyes quite as much. The ache still remains a constant reminder of his sins, and he knows that he deserves every bit of that pain.)

xXx

He instantly realizes when the Shinigami with brown hair and thick rimmed glasses, hiding his calculating and treacherous eyes enters his dimension that the status quo has changed. He still does not interfere, does not make any move even as he sees his creations be used and changed with this unnatural stone that has no place being in a mortals hand.

(Because they are getting stronger, more like humans and part of him is excited by this; all the while a larger part of him wants to rip the interloper apart for daring to change what is _his_.)

His fingers twitch as he watches Starkk and Lilinette join the Shinigami and the growing army, because for all his indifference he has always liked the two of them, had helped them separate into two halves when the loneliness became too much for their former self.

(And even though he knows that every single one of them is loyal to him above anything else, seeing Aizen command them leaves a bad taste in his mouth.)

xXx

Aizen's demise is swift but painful. Allen waits until he along with the strongest Hollows – Espada – leave his dimension towards the world of the living. He barely notices the other intruders infringing upon his territory.

(They remind him of his former self, so he leaves them be, knowing that they are not his enemy, but children caught up in a fight too large for their still fragile shoulders.)

The Gate of his Ark materialized silently in the middle of the two sides, and as Allen casually strolls out into the sky, top hat firmly places upon his white hair; he instantly draws the eyes of all.

His skin is still ashen and his eyes still gold, but what catches their attention the most is the aura of ago-old authority clinging to his small form like a second cloak.

His grin stretches over his face unconsciously, as his eye roam over their gathered forms. Even Genryuusai Yamamoto for all his strength steps back from the teen that is anything but.

''Shinigami Aizen~, I am displeased with your intrusion into my territory and changing what is solely mine. Your verdict is death.'' His words were spoken softly, yet resounded in the very souls of every single being. It had a melodic tilt, along with an ancient feeling that only few had ever heard.

''Who are you, vermin? Your territory? About what exactly are you talking about?'' Aizen smirks down at him mockingly, and Allen only feels pity for the man who could have been great. He sees it in his very soul, and even though he swore to remain uninvolved he has a responsibility for those souls he had created and twisted into something uniquely his.

Allen sees Starkk eye him with unconcealed hope, and the other Hollows with a mixture of awe, respect, fear and confusion.

(He can understand, for he is not always kind and he has long since learned that a little fear never goes amiss.)

The Shinigami can only watch in stunned disbelief as the Hollows bow to the small figure, heads lowered in a show of absolute submission.

''Lord Millennium, should we dispose of Aizen for you?'' Barragan asks without hesitation, kneeling before the only figure he would ever see as his superior. The Earl of the Millennium was their creator, their father and God and no Hollow would ever think otherwise. In their world, he was the only thing that could be called absolute.

''No need, Barragan.'' Allen whispers fondly, eyeing the figures kneeling on the air with no small amount of affection.

(In this corrupt and ever-changing world, they are the only thing he will ever show those feeling towards. They are not family and never will be, but they are his and that matters in a way that nothing else does.)

A fraction of a second later he is in front of Aizen, the Shinigami too slow to realize the figure staring at him calmly can eradicate him with nary but a flick of his fingers. His palm caresses the man's cheek as his sword materialized in his hand out of thin air, and pierces the madman's chest in a single movement.

Allen does not even have to deal with the blind Shinigami rushing at him in a show of unbelieving rage; Starkk is before the figure only a moment later and a single shot of his gun blows away the man's chest.

Allen lets his golden eyes roam around his surroundings one last time, before he opens the Gate to Hueco Mundo, and the Hollows follow him without prompting.

(They know he is displeased, know what is expected of them, and this blind obedience makes something inside of him ache again – a bone deep longing for people he will never see again.)

''Wait!'' One of the Shinigami screams, and Allen turns around fluidly, grin still fixed on his face as he eyes the small white haired Shinigami glaring at him furiously.

(This one too reminds him of himself when he was still young, still a child fighting against forces far stronger than himself. When he still fought in order to protect what he claimed with his heart. )

''Yes~, little child?''

The little Shinigami bristles at the implied insult, but for some reason holds back. ''Who are you?''

Allen frowns at the child, his unsettling grin vanishing without a trace from his ashen face as he tilts his head in a gesture of obvious contemplation.

''Who am I, you ask~.'' Allen let the question run through his mind one more time before he answered. After all he had asked himself the very same question a myriad of times already.

''I, little Shinigami am the Ear of the Millennium, the creator of Hollows and the counterpart to your little Soul King. Or rather he is mine, since he was created long after I first existed in this world.''

Ignoring the silence he left in his wake, he walks through the Gate together with his not-really-but-still-close-enough-children, his grin firmly back in place.

(Because for all he is the Fourteenth Noah Allen, he is also the Earl of the Millennium and somehow that had never been quite as clear before. His goal is different and everything else too, but he still calls himself by that name.

It is atonement, and a singular devotion to the Patriarch of his family that he had brought down with his own sword. He has spent millennium regretting and will spent millennium atoning and that is his promise and goal.

He doesn't care about cleansing or eradicating humans. Allen wants to carry on this name, wants to prevent the person he loved most to be forgotten with time and if he has to be a God to do it, he will comply, because a God's life is bitter and lonely, but it is atonement and Allen will not complain.)

Aizen acted too soon, and he will let them forget and when more millennium pass, perhaps he will act.

He is the Earl of the Millennium after all.

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**Just a random one-shot that kept running through my head, hope you still liked it! Allen surviv es the war, yet everything else is destroyed. He reives the Noah memory years afterwards and realizes that he killed his family and those he truly loved and belonged with.**

**Allen is rather mad, destroyed by guilt and loneliness due to his neverchanging nature. He doesn't wish for humanities destruction, even though he despises them, but only wishes for the Earl's name to live on!**

**Hope that makes sense!**

**C'ya soon,**

**AriesOrion**


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